Gay couple discusses role in changing adoption policies Copyright © 2001 KStateCollegian.com Published on Wednesday, October 10, 2001 Edie Hall Kansas State Collegian Jon Holden and Michael Galluccio, two homosexual adoptive parents, filed a class-action lawsuit against the state of New Jersey. In the case, the couple demanded a change in the adoption policy. The two won their battle and now have three children: Adam, Rosa and Madison. Jenny Braniff/Collegian As his voice grew softer and tears came to his eyes, Jon Holden, husband of Michael Galluccio, recalled how he felt when he was told that he would not be able to adopt a child, Adam, jointly with his companion because they were not legally married. "It was the worst thing anyone has ever said to me in my life," Jon said. Michael and Jon lectured on adoption rights for gay couples in the K-State Student Union Main Ballroom as a part of National Coming Out Week to receptive audience members. "I personally feel like a better person after hearing these men speak," Ashley Harding, sophomore in psychology, said. "It really opened my eyes to a different viewpoint. I thought it was awesome." The couple gained national attention by filing a class-action lawsuit against the state of New Jersey in which they demanded a change in the policy barring their joint adoption efforts. The couple ran up against many objections, but had even more support. "People would say, 'You're robbing him of a mother,' 'You'll raise him as a homosexual,' 'You might molest him,' and other similar things," Jon said. "However, despite these people's opinion, we had even more people saying, 'Good for you. You will make good parents.'" As a result of the lawsuit, New Jersey became the first state in which sexual orientation or marital status does not matter in adoptions. Now, Michael and Jon travel and speak to groups around the country about their story and exploring the full extent of the American Dream despite sexual orientation. They also are parents to three children. Adam, 6, was the first child they adopted. The couple also adopted a little girl named Madison, who now is 4, and her older sister Rosa, who now is 19. The couple are grandparents to Rosa's first child, Marianna, who will turn 1 in November. The couple told stories of their coming out experience. Their families were at opposite ends of the spectrum. "When I told her, my mom was almost immediately supportive," Jon said. "It may have taken her 24 hours to get over the initial shock, but after that, she has been wonderful." However, Michael's coming out story was much different. "Imagine the worst coming out situation you can, and that's what happened to me," Michael said. "Imagine telling your family that their eldest son of an eldest son of an eldest son is gay. There was crying and fighting and more crying and fighting." Despite the reaction, after many years, the couple finally was accepted by Michael's family. The change came after he told his family that if they could not be accepting, their relationship with the child the couple was planning to adopt would be distant. "I told them, 'You can either be Grandma and Papa or you can be Mrs. and Mr. Galluccio.' After that, I got my parents back." Michael said. The couple talked of internal and external problems they encountered during the years before they adopted Adam, ranging from Jon's alcoholism to internal homophobia. They also talked of problems they now are dealing with. "We do talk to our kids, at an age-appropriate level about how they may be treated by others," Michael said. "We tell them that some people may be mean because they think that different means bad, but we always stress to them that different doesn't mean bad." That lesson is what Michael hopes students attending the lecture go away with. "I want people to realize that something that is different from you isn't bad," Michael said. "It's as simple as that."   Copyright © 2001 KStateCollegian.com