Galluccios overcome personal doubts to raise a family

Landmark couple say gays need to believe they are equal to have equality

by ANTHONY CONNOLLY

The battle for gay acceptance is waged from the inside out, said arguably the most out gay couple in America, the Galluccios.

In 1997, Jon and Michael Galluccio made national and international news becoming the first gay couple to simultaneously adopt a child. The adoption became possible after winning a court battle against their home state, New Jersey. The victory forced New Jersey to become the first state in the U.S. to give same-sex couples equal rights to heterosexual couples when adopting children in state custody.

Today, the Galluccios are a model family. Their Maywood, New Jersey life consist of a mini-van, a dog, Adam, almost 4, and Madison, 2. This summer, they will adopt a third child, Rosa, 16, who is Madison’s biological sister.

The Galluccios were in Houston, March 20, as part of the Human Rights Campaign 1999 Winter Gala event, entitled "Celebrating Family Values," held at the Doubletree Hotel at Post Oak.

Before over 600 guests at the gala, they read a bedtime story to their adopted children, reminding them the "big bad wolf" is not a stalking creature in the world outside, but mostly resides in the mind.

While they are still pleased with victory two years since the landmark achievement to adopt Adam, they realize the victory came firstly within themselves.

"Once we started presenting ourselves as equal to everyone else in the world, everyone else in world seemed to get a lot better," said Jon Galluccio, 35.

Michael, 37, added, "One of the things that holds us back from doing the things we want to do is ourselves.

"A lot of people when they realize they’re gay, the thing that they’ve learned to do is to lock away half of the dreams they’ve had."

The dream for them was to become parents, and the Galluccios would not settle for less.

"If there’s something you want to do, or something you believe in, or something you dream about then you should do it, because we have as much right as anyone else."

"Our biggest enemy in getting those things are ourselves, our own selves personally, our own community, because we don’t believe we have the right. Get past all those issues," said Michael.

That’s not to mean the couple did not have reservations. "We had those thoughts too, it almost stopped us from having children," Michael admits.

Jon said, "Clearly, we got better and allowed other people to get better."

And in all endeavors, the same should apply: "You give people the opportunity to come up and be good. We are the face of what gay people are like," said Michael.

Still, there is much to battle with in America.

"Our victory in New Jersey was a clarion call to the religious right people in this country to attack the gay and lesbian community and make sure they don’t receive these rights any where else," Jon said.

The tactic to ban gays from adopting or fostering children in state custody enrages him.

"They’re scape-goating children. And the most vulnerable children in foster care."

The Galluccios admit it is hard to fight back, given the economics of politics.

"Because gays and lesbians don’t have full equality in job protection and in so many areas it limits the gay and lesbian community from standing up and fighting," said Michael.

The political conservative organizations have all the money and power to put an "ugly face," on the gay community. He said, "Our community is at such a disadvantage because there’re not enough people who can stand up and do it."

The Galluccio family feels it must do its part to continually ensure equality is afforded to gays.

"If we can be that face and go into Texas to say, ‘Here, this is what a gay and lesbian family looks like, here are our kids, this is the type of people you are hurting’, and put a face on it.

"Most people in the heterosexual community will find, when they get to know us that we have more in common than the one thing we don’t," Jon said.

Michael added, "And that’s where the religious right wants us to focus. Only on the sex."

"It’s not a sex issue, it’s a love issue, a commitment issue. And how we express that between ourselves is personally none of any one’s business," said Jon.

INFO

To reach the Galluccio family

www.gaynj.net/galluccio