September 1998For most children, turning three is a normal part of growing up. For Adam it is no less than a miracle. When he was born, Adam tested positive for HIV and Hepatitis C, among other infections. At birth, Adam was seriously addicted to crack and had been heavily exposed to several other drugs. He nearly died several times. Much of his early life was spent in the hospital under strict supervision. Life has not been easy but now this healthy toddler announces proudly, " I'M THREE!"
At his young age, Adam has become quite notable. Not as a result of his miraculous development, but through a different battle. A battle we, his parents, had to wage against the state of New Jersey on his behalf.
We are Jon and Michael. Men who, in their early 30's, had rid themselves of the internal homophobic demons that reinforced the idea gay men could not be fathers. Adam became our son. The State acknowledged that we were outstanding foster parents to the baby. So good that the Division of Youth and Family Services, recommended that we to adopt him. A lifelong dream was being realized.
Soon, things started falling apart. The Division told us that we could not adopt Adam as a couple. State policy said that "unmarried" couples could not adopt a child together. They stated that since Michael was employed (Jon stayed at home as Adam's primary caregiver) he should proceed alone. Jon could petition later for a second parent adoption.
This option was unfair and wrong, wrong for us but also not in Adam's best interest. Were Michael to die, Jon would not have the right even to seek custody of Adam. Our child could lose both parents. Moreover, the State's position virtually negated our sixteen-year relationship and our family.
We sued the State of New Jersey and won. We were able to adopt Adam jointly. In an out of court settlement, New Jersey became the first state in the nation to have an official policy that put unmarried couples on equal footing with married heterosexual couples, in the matter of adoption. The Division's own director would announce how pleased she was with the new policy because it would create additional families to care for the thousands of children abandoned to the State.
In many ways we are still fighting for Adam, only he has come to represent so many more children. He represents the ones "lost" in foster care because they are too sick, too old or the wrong race. There are so many children in state run homes because there aren't enough families to take them all.
Now, helpless children being used as political pawns. They are prisoners of a crusade by the "Republican Religious Right" to rid; or shall we say "cure", the nation of homosexuality.
One of the more vocal players in this "religious war" is the Family Research Council. They claim to be motivated by compassion. However, their own newsletter, "Culture Facts", which attacked our family, in a column entitled "Who's Raising Adam", unmasks this compassion as hatred and bigotry. We imagine they must find Adam's success quite upsetting. It must be hard to accept that God chose homosexuals to help bring this boy to life. We wrote a letter to the Family Research Council President, Gary L. Bauer, but have received no response.
So what is our third birthday gift to Adam? This year he'll get a trip to the zoo! Not just any zoo, we are taking him to the wonderful National Zoo in Washington D.C. Adam loves animals and is already talking about seeing the elephants. Because GLBT families are under siege, we will be travelling to the nation's capitol to speak at the National ACLU Briefing on September 16th. We will also be speaking at OutVote98, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign on September 18th. Both of these focus on family issues. We will also be meeting with Senators and members of Congress to introduce them to our family. A family that is under attack through appropriations bill amendments, advertising campaigns and private newsletters, among other ways.
Both in the halls of Congress and in the National Zoo we will show Washington, and the world, that we are an American family. Our gift to Adam will not just be a trip to the zoo, but a lesson in democracy as we exercise our right to be heard on Capitol Hill. It may take a few years before he appreciates Congress as much as he does the pandas, but if we all stand up now for America's lost children and the parents who would adopt them, Adam will grow up to be glad.
So join us at the ZOO in celebrating Adam's 3rd birthday on the 18th. Adam, our child, who has come to represent so much, would love to see you and so would we. God Bless.
Jon and Michael Galluccio
644 Lincoln Avenue
Maywood, NJ 07607
jgalluccio@msn.com