An opinioned editorial co-written by Jon and Michael Galluccio
February 2, 1999

The recent global conference at Lambeth for the Anglican Community was covered widely in the media for its passage of anti-gay resolutions. The bishops at Lambeth decreed that homosexual activity is incompatible with Scripture and rejected both ordination of sexually active gays and any celebration of same-gender relationships.

As a gay couple that had just celebrated a highly visible Holy Union at the Church of the Atonement in Fair Lawn, this news brought us heartache and anger. There was no escape or denying the outcome of this conference, as it seemed to play on forever. In the media, in the church, in conversation, many people called on us for answers, called on us to respond. We found the Lambeth statements painfully confusing. This from the church whose motto is "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You"? We could not respond, we had no answers, it seemed too great to bear.

We looked for answers. We spoke to our priests and bishops, our fellow parishioners, our families and our gay and lesbian community. Although talking about the horror, which was Lambeth, seemed to get us by, we still carried a great weight. We found ourselves questioning our religious convictions.

You see we were both raised Roman Catholic. We had both been very active in our churches as youths but when we came together and began to build our relationship, one which has lasted almost seventeen years, our religion got in the way. Blissfully in love we felt abandoned by our church, and therefore abandoned by God. The message from the Roman Catholic Church, as we heard it, seemed clear: what we were doing was wrong and we would go to hell if we continued.

There was no way then and there is no way now, that anyone can convince us that our relationship is anything but blessed by God. Ten years into our relationship, we believe, we were called back home to a house of God. This home was not the Roman Catholic one from which we fled but the Episcopal Church. We attended several churches until we found our current home at the Church of the Atonement in Fair Lawn. We were welcomed with open arms by an entirely straight congregation. The warmth of their immediate unconditional non-judgmental love immediately soothed our old wounds, which we had left open for over ten years.

But old wounds run deep and when the Anglican bishops passed their resolutions at Lambeth we bled anew. We were frozen and thrown back to a place we had left behind years ago. We did do a lot of talking but still no answer came. When we found ourselves at this place of unknowing we turned our hearts and minds over to God and prayed for help, for answers. We let go of our anger and returned to our church and waited for an answer. We became more involved in our church instead of less. We continued as lay readers. Michael took a position on the planning committee and Jon on the vestry. We continued sending our children to church school.

There were times between then (Lambeth) and now that we had our doubts that an answer to our pain would be revealed but we worked hard at our faith. Admittedly, we sometimes had to act as if we had faith when our faith in God and our church would not come naturally.

Today we are renewed and are rejoicing. On January 30th, the representatives of our diocese, the Episcopal Diocese of Newark, at its 125th annual convention voted with force to denounce the recent global Lambeth Conference of Anglican bishops for its anti-gay resolutions.

Representing over 43,000 fellow Episcopalians, they recognized and validated the love we have for ourselves, for each other and for our children. Our church, and we mean OUR church, has embraced us with the life-affirming hug of God's love.

We believe God, through the body of our church has given us the answer we sought. For those that called on us for answers, those that called on us to respond but most importantly for when our children question, we are able to respond. Through our lens and the lenses of over 43,000 of our fellow parishioners,

Yes indeed "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You, ALL OF YOU"

Jon and Michael Galluccio

jon@galluccio.com
http://www.galluccio.com