"There are people in every land who want to stop history in its tracks. They fear the future, mistrust the present, and invoke the security of a comfortable past which in fact, never existed." - Robert F. KennedyIn our last newsletter, there was so much more that we wanted to tell you about but ran out of room. So this month, we will begin with some leftover thoughts, sentiment, experiences to share….you know Galluccio News!
We worked with the Human Rights Campaign quite a bit in September. We were guest speakers at OutVote'98 and attended the National Dinner, both in Washington DC. While we were "cutting our teeth" as lobbyists, they were there to help us. The following week they flew us out to Minneapolis, where we were honored with a National Family Civil Rights Award at the Upper Midwest HRC Dinner. These events were amazingly rewarding. It was good that we were able to spend some time with the group. We learned a lot and were happy with what we saw.
We must admit before this experience we pretty much thought of HRC as just another grand, self-promoting organization. One which spent too much money talking about itself and its staff rather than doing the work needed for our cause. We were most certainly wrong. Judge not lest you be judged is what we preach; yet we had judged them without really knowing who they really were and just what they really did. The staff at HRC, from Elizabeth Birch on down, has passion. This passion is not a self-promoting passion driven by ego but a passion for equality that beats in the heart. We cannot deny that there are some egos at work but it takes a healthy ego to be a leader and to put your neck on the line. That is what leaders do, they put their neck's on the line. Sometimes they do not do it the way we would like. Sometimes they do or think or support things we do not understand. Sometimes they do not seem to be promoting the thing we hold most dear INDIVIDUALLY. Consequently, we tend to speak out against them. However, in the end we must remember, it is all for a greater good. "Our cause", in its broadest sense is just getting out there, and it is. Gay and Lesbian equality is being spoken about in homes and classrooms and in government offices. HRC is making a difference, a difference for the better. Remember, if we attack those that stick their necks out for the common good of the gay and lesbian community, then fewer and fewer people will stick their necks out, it's that simple. Help them, do not hurt them. OK, enough now let's talk about the kids!
Well, as we mentioned, Adam started nursery school last month. This year has gone somewhat differently however. As is common with drug addicted children; Adam has begun demonstrating classic symptoms of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) at home and in school. This has prompted another round of early intervention developmental evaluations. He has been through some tests and some preliminary diagnosis is pending (they do not formally diagnose ADHD until at least 5) but his activity level makes the outcome predictable. We have decided to begin addressing this immediately in order to avoid any possible developmental delays later. To begin with, he is going to be starting at a new school in the near future, which is geared toward a more structured curriculum. Our hope is to have him "mainstreamed" in time for kindergarten.
Fortunately, our boy has not lost any of his sparkling personality and is a joy to be around (that is if you do not mind never sitting down). We have such a good time together. His favorite times are spent playing with his trucks and talking on the telephone.
Madison is blossoming into a beautiful little girl. She jumps, skips, and loves to read. Her greatest interest right now is art. At most times of the day she can be seen with a crayon in her hand (or mouth) and she is drawing (mostly on the walls). By the way, do not ever let anyone fool you into believing that "child proof" paints really works. You should see the family room. Her sense of humor has kicked in and she laughs the smoky laugh of a junior Lauren Bacall. She is finished with the days where her brother can push her around. She has a pretty powerful forearm and knows how to use it. She will be two on December 7th and we are frightened. Another two year old already !!! Please keep her in your prayers as the adoption process drags on.
We are in full swing with brining Rosa into the family. For her birthday on October 8th, she got her own room in the house complete with rose sheets, lace curtains and her own telephone. If we could only put a candy vending machine in there she would never come out. We love having her around. In addition to being a wonderful daughter, she is proving to be a fantastic big sister to the little ones. She is doing her best to break us in slowly to the joys of parenting a teenager.
Michael and Jon. We thought we would spend a few sentences talking about the foundation of this family. This past year has put an enormous amount of pressure on us. Oh we have most definitely lost it occasionally but we had done a lot of work on our communication skills a few years back and boy o boy is it paying off now. The other bit of knowledge that helps us get through and remain a strong healthy vibrant couple is the realization that relationships take work. Yes, you can live "happily ever after" but sometimes you have to work your butt off for it. Communication and commitment are very important but our greatest asset is the gift of true love. Ahhhhhh, it is true!
Speaking of love, we feel we should address marriage and the ballot initiatives in Hawaii and Alaska that we lost. Therefore, we share the following with you:
HOPE - Freedom to Marry – November 4, 1998 Today, as we digest the news from Hawaii and Alaska that their legislatures are now free to write in discriminatory language into their state constitutions in order to prevent same-sex marriage, we are sad. However, to wallow in self-pity and to accept the role of victim of this outcome is not anything we are interested in.Together we must face these results as setbacks and not as defeats. We must use this to strengthen our resolve to be out there, to claim our piece of the American Dream that is our birth right in this great country. Our piece of the American Pie WILL BE EQUAL to those around us. We will not settle but we can not do it alone. We must all do more, talk more, be seen more. Those that would condemn us need to see us, to know us. We must not enable them by staying hidden, by hoping that someone else will fight the fight. We must stand up and be counted, now. Each one of us can make a difference.
As Americans, it is our heritage to stand up to those who would treat us as second class. We must. If not for ourselves then for our children, for Adam and Madison Galluccio, for Matthew Shepard, for all the children of this country. We are good people and good citizens and we deserve to be treated equal.
Feel good, there is hope. Be good, there is hope. Be equal, there is hope. God Bless America!
November/December Newsletter? Why yes, we can look into the future and see that there is no way we will get a separate newsletter out in December. So Happy Holidays! You know in all seriousness, we are swamped here but it so important that we all keep our lines of communication open. There is so much ahead of us, that well, you may not need us but we sure need you! There are exciting things coming up for our family and the community as a whole and we want everyone to be able to share in the excitement. There will also be struggles ahead too for which we will need one another.
Some schedule highlights:
Nov. 2 - 20, LOVE MAKES A FAMILY - Living in Lesbian and Gay Families, A Photographic Exhibit presented by Family Diversity Projects, Inc. We are featured in this exhibit and will be attending the opening reception on Nov 2, 4:00 - 6:00. The exhibit will be showcased in the Swartley Gallery of Dwight-Englewood School, 315 East Palisade Avenue, Englewood, NJ 07631, (201)569-9500
Nov. 14, Heritage of Pride Adward Show where we will be presenters, to be held at "The Roxy",515 W. 18th Street, NY, NY from 7:00pm to 11:00pm, Call HOP for more info at (212)807-7433
Nov. 21 Princeton University Masquerade Ball - This fundraising event is currently being put together, and if it comes together, we have promised to attend. Obviously, details to follow..
Dec. 2 8:00pm, NYACN (New York Advertising and Communications Network) We will interviewed by author Eric Marcus. New York Gay and Lesbian Community Center Swing Space, Lil' West 12th and Hudson Streets, NY. For program information call: (212)462-9255
Dec. 15 8:00pm Guest speakers at the Bergen County chapter of P-FLAG. Meeting at Temple Beth Or, 56 Ridgewood Road, Washington Township, NJ. For more information, please contact Lillian Epstein at 201-652-2287
Feb. 23, 1999: Indiana State University, 7:00pm, Hulman Memorial Student Union: "Building a Family, a Human Right" with Jon and Michael Galluccio. Reception to follow talk. For information contact (812) 237-3827
March 20, 1999: the HRC Houston 1999 Winter Gala. This event will center around Family Values and the Galluccio Family will be part of their program. We are honored to be their guests for this event. For information please contact HRC at (202) 628-4160
March 21, 1999: the Lesbian and Gay Rights Lobby of Texas will be marching to the capitol in Austin and holding a rally. We will be there to march and speak to our good friends in Texas about family and equality. For info, contact the LGRL of Texas at (512) 474-5475
August 22-29, 1999. We will be travelling and speaking onboard Carnival Cruise Line's newest and biggest ship to ever sail to the Mexican Riviera for the first annual GLBT Family Cruise sponsored by Alternative Family Magazine and End of the Rainbow Travel.Of course, there are plenty of other things in the air and we will do our best to fit them all in. We do hope that if we should be in your "neck of the woods" that you let us know in order that we might get together.
Our multi-media adventures continue. We are about a week away from becoming Galluccio.com on the World Wide Web. It is funny to think that a year ago; we did not even have a home computer. Of course, our website would not exist if not for the expertise and generosity of Bill Kibler (Kibs), our Webmaster and owner/operator of www.gaynj.net. We went online in April and have had over 5,000 visitors since then. It is constantly updated with our opinions, photos, schedules, etc., so if you have not visited or have not been back since your last visit stop by again and let us know what you think. It has received three awards as well. Our guest book is exciting as we have had comments from people all over the world and you can go in and read most of them. We will be working to extensively update our photo page and links page as we get so many requests in those areas, so stay tuned.
Our book continues to move forward however we are still in the "proposal" stage. It is taking a long time but it is worth it. Our voices are getting clearer and so is our story! David Groff, our collaborator, is really doing some excellent work and we are confident that this will be a beautifully written story.
Although, it sometimes seems like nothing is happening in the land of movie making, there is! It just has a lot to do with waiting. For anyone you knows us, waiting is not something we thrive on but we will look to this project for the lessons of patience and faith.
Before we close, we wanted to give you some contact information for some important organizations that are fighting for equality on behalf of our families. Please support them wherever and whenever you can:
The Human Rights Campaign (202) 628-4160 Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (212) 807-1700 National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (202) 332-6483 ACLU, Gay and Lesbian Rights Project (212) 549-2624 Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund (212) 809-8585 On a final political note, the Largent Amendment, which would have banned gay and lesbian couples from foster care and adoption in Washington DC, was removed from the appropriations bill at the last moment. We would love to say our lobbying efforts, in DC, got it removed. We can not. The truth, as we hear it, is that one man, Richard Socarides, on behalf of President Clinton, deserves a lot of the credit. He is an exceptional man and we are proud to have him representing us in the White House.
We could not end without sharing with you just how beautiful Minneapolis was. The only thing nicer then the city itself were the people. We made many friends there and would love to go back again.
So, this is it, our last newsletter until 1999. This holiday season fill yourself up with all the hope and love that surrounds us. The clean fresh snowflake, the Miracle on 34th Street, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (ok, so we are show queens, you are surprised!)
May God's love shine within you!
Love,
Jon, Michael, Adam, and Madison