"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood,
but of respect and joy in each other's life.
Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof."
-Richard Bach, author of "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" and "The Bridge
across Forever", written in "Illusions"
The passage by Richard Bach was included in an email from a new "family" member. Someone who found us on the Internet and took the time to reach out and share. Mike, in one email has helped us express a growing attitude in our home - that we are just a small part of a much larger family (Hillary’s village in a great big way!), with simple humanity as our common thread.
In our May newsletter, we shared with you the following:
Now the big news:
On June 21st, Father’s Day, we will enter into a Holy Union at our church, the Episcopal Church of the Atonement in Fair Lawn, New Jersey. The Reverend Kevin P.J. Coffey will preside. In attendance will be the Reverend Canon Elizabeth Kaeton, Diocesan Canon Missioner to the Oasis. The service will be held at 10:30am and will be part of the regular Sunday worship service. Until the access to our civil rights is changed, the church can not legally call this a marriage service - that means this is a Holy Union not a wedding.We had no idea at the time of planning our Holy Union that it would become such an "event". For those of you who know us well, you know we are quite spiritual and just a tad religious. In order to meet those needs first, we have decided to have a very private service on the Saturday evening before the public service on Sunday.
So, why have both? Well for many reasons. First is family, which I will refer you to the quote at the top of the page for our definition. So many people have reached out to us and made us part of their family that we want them to be able to share in our celebration.
Many people in our country do not have the ability to do the things we have done and are doing. We need these people to know that there is hope. Just look at how startling high the suicide statistics are for teens struggling with gay and lesbian issues and you will understand why this makes sense. This was received today via email from our website:
Hello,
My name is Rudy, I am 16, and currently living in Texas. Even at my young age i am fully aware I am all too positive of my sexuality--gay--and i hope that when I meet the man whom I love and marry (that is if marriage between gay couples is legalized) we too ill be able to proudly raise a family, like you have accomplished. Seeing this only brightens my horizons, and pushes me to fight for my rights.
Pride always,
RudyFinally, although this is a religious ceremony, it does spotlight the inequality of the civil rights of the gay and lesbian population. If we had access to the same civil rights as heterosexuals, this would be a wedding and not a Holy Union. As a result of these inequalities, our willingness to commit and profess our love to one another at a Holy Union in an Episcopal Church is interpreted as a political statement. (Much like holding hands in South Carolina!)
We feel strongly that those reasons alone justify us inviting and welcoming the media, should they decide to attend. That said, there are some tough boundaries set up so that anyone there to witness our Holy Union can do so in comfort.
We should also add; that since this service is public, anyone (and in that we mean protesters) could show up. Of course, there will be plenty of security at the church to ensure there are no disturbances and we would ask you to be respectful to all regardless of their agenda. Please note that our Holy Union will be only part of our regular Sunday worship service so be mindful of our fellow church members, especially the fathers!
We are tremendously grateful for your presence in our life. We will write again after the summer. So, if we do not connect before then, have a wonderful, healthy and happy summer.
God Bless!