" Big Hug " - Tinky WinkyWell 1999 is in full swing! Like most people, we are getting busier and busier. There is a lot we would like to share this month, so let us get to it.
Rev. Jerry Fallwell. When we were to appear on Larry King Live, the producers told us, only hours before that the Rev. Jerry Fallwell was going to be on in opposition to us. Admittedly, we were terrified. We quickly sought out of advice from our priests, HRC, NGLTF, GLAAD, NJLGC, and our families. Everyone had the same advice, be yourself but most importantly - just let him talk, as he will do enough damage to himself on his own. Of course, we are paraphrasing, some were a lot harsher than that but this is a family newsletter! We let him talk that evening and when he offered to take our son away from us, we knew what our advisors meant.
We learned that evening that each time he talks we, the homosexual community, gain from it. His latest folly at attacking homosexuality by "outing" the television character, Tinky Winky, as gay, has America talking again. We have often said, communication is what builds bridges that lead to understanding and peace. Therefore, hats off to the Reverend and of course we mean purple triangular antenna hats! Well, with that off our chest, we can move on now.
Religion has not been an easy road for us. If you have heard us speak, read about us or know us personally you might already know about that. Either way we would like to share with you the following, which we co-wrote as an opinioned editorial two weeks ago.
"The Episcopal Church Welcomes You?"
The recent global conference at Lambeth for the Anglican Community was covered widely in the media for its passage of anti-gay resolutions. The bishops at Lambeth decreed that homosexual activity is incompatible with Scripture and rejected both ordination of sexually active gays and any celebration of same-gender relationships.
As a gay couple that had just celebrated a highly visible Holy Union at the Church of the Atonement in Fair Lawn, this news brought us heartache and anger. There was no escape or denying the outcome of this conference, as it seemed to play on forever. In the media, in the church, in conversation, many people called on us for answers, called on us to respond. We found the Lambeth statements painfully confusing. This from the church whose motto is "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You"? We could not respond, we had no answers, it seemed too great to bear.
We looked for answers. We spoke to our priests and bishops, our fellow parishioners, our families and our gay and lesbian community. Although talking about the horror, which was Lambeth, seemed to get us by, we still carried a great weight. We found ourselves questioning our religious convictions.
You see we were both raised Roman Catholic. We had both been very active in our churches as youths but when we came together and began to build our relationship, one which has lasted almost seventeen years, our religion got in the way. Blissfully in love we felt abandoned by our church, and therefore abandoned by God. The message from the Roman Catholic Church, as we heard it, seemed clear: what we were doing was wrong and we would go to hell if we continued.
There was no way then and there is no way now, that anyone can convince us that our relationship is anything but blessed by God. Ten years into our relationship, we believe, we were called back home to a house of God. This home was not the Roman Catholic one from which we fled but the Episcopal Church. We attended several churches until we found our current home at the Church of the Atonement in Fair Lawn. We were welcomed with open arms by an entirely straight congregation. The warmth of their immediate unconditional non-judgmental love immediately soothed our old wounds, which we had left open for over ten years.
But old wounds run deep and when the Anglican bishops passed their resolutions at Lambeth we bled anew. We were frozen and thrown back to a place we had left behind years ago. We did do a lot of talking but still no answer came. When we found ourselves at this place of unknowing we turned our hearts and minds over to God and prayed for help, for answers. We let go of our anger and returned to our church and waited for an answer. We became more involved in our church instead of less. We continued as lay readers. Michael took a position on the planning committee and Jon on the vestry. We continued sending our children to church school.
There were times between then (Lambeth) and now that we had our doubts that an answer to our pain would be revealed but we worked hard at our faith. Admittedly, we sometimes had to act as if we had faith when our faith in God and our church would not come naturally.
Today we are renewed and are rejoicing. On January 30th, the representatives of our diocese, the Episcopal Diocese of Newark, at its 125th annual convention voted with force to denounce the recent global Lambeth Conference of Anglican bishops for its anti-gay resolutions.
Representing over 43,000 fellow Episcopalians, they recognized and validated the love we have for ourselves, for each other and for our children. Our church, and we mean OUR church, has embraced us with the life-affirming hug of God's love.
We believe God, through the body of our church has given us the answer we sought. For those that called on us for answers, those that called on us to respond but most importantly for when our children question, we are able to respond. Through our lens and the lenses of over 43,000 of our fellow parishioners,
Yes indeed "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You, ALL OF YOU"
OK, enough about religion lets move on to a less divisive subject - Politics (you did not think you were getting off that easy, did you?) Utah has successfully banned homosexuals from participating in foster care and adoption within Utah's Division of Child and Family Services. Another agency, with not enough homes for all of its children, has narrowed the chances for these most vulnerable little ones of securing a good, loving, permanent home even further. It is obvious; the Republican Right is using these children as pawns. It saddens us when bigotry, hatred and politics speak louder than reality, louder then love.
So we pray, we write, we speak, we call, we email, and we cry as we try to do whatever we can to fight these injustices. We know that we are not alone. We know that it is tragically wrong to look a child in the eye and condemn them to a life of institutionalized living. Those that are blind will not see that - yet. We know through our visibility alone people have changed their opinions of families like ours but the faces and voices of our family and those visible families like ours are not enough to make enough of a difference. We need faces and voices of all of you that have supported us and then some. So many kind and loving people, most of which we never knew, wrote letters of support to our governor and the newspapers during our fight to adopt Adam. We need these people again; it can begin with you.
It is a crucial time in the following states where there is legislation passed, posted or in the pipeline. Also, there are states with high profile adoption cases similar to ours. Please do whatever you can in the following states, so children do not have to suffer due to a right wing political agenda. Over 25% of our United States are dealing with this legislatively as we write this newsletter. They are: Utah, Texas, Arkansas, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, California, Vermont, Florida, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Virginia, and Louisiana.
Our Children continue to be both miraculous and ordinary. Gods gifts to us in the form of Adam, Madison and Rosa continue to thrill, excite and challenge us in so many wonderful ways.
Rosa starts Drivers Education next week. Besides the expense of an insured car which is just around the corner, what about the colorist? Surely, this experience will bring that premature gray look that nature has so far held at bay. She has been off from school for President's Week and we are really enjoying her and so are Adam and Madison. They are quite attached to their big sister and crave her attention (Jon is finally getting a break during the day!) She is done with exams and moving on to a new semester. June is quickly approaching, and we can not wait until she is here permanently. Neither can Bell Atlantic - THE GIRL NEVER GET'S OFF THE PHONE!
Adam just got his first progress report from school and we could not be happier. We still have not shaken off the fear we had during the summer and early fall when his ADHD really started peaking. One thing that Adam and the others have taught us is that fear is a big part of parenting. We are getting a little more fearful of his hypertriglyceridemia getting out of control as we are losing more control over his diet. We have begun educating him about his condition. It is endearing and sad at the same time when he points to something high in fat and says "No, that makes your blood sick". However it does not stop him from stealing it, running into the other run with it and shoving it in his mouth yet, but that will come.
He continues to sing and sing and sing. He has picked up Jon's famous trait of not knowing any of the words to the songs but singing them anyway with his own words inserted. He also dances now and is just adorable. He will stand in the kitchen and point to the CD player and say "Put on - nobody's posta be here", which translates to Deborah Cox's dance remix of "Nobody's supposed to be here"
Madison is a dancing machine. Jon and Madison have a little private "dance break" at 9:00am, it is like a cross between aerobics and "bloopysize". Bloopy is another purple cartoon character, soon to be "outed" no doubt, (if they only new we had an aubergene velvet couch, they would out that too!)
Although she is still Miss Manners around here, she is also a little bit of Miss Attitude! With one hand on her hip and the other pointing, she has no problem dishing out orders these days. Oh the joys of the "terrific twos". She is certainly in a testing mode now and honestly, it is so difficult to remain serious about correcting her when we just want to burst out laughing. Another parenting skill not adequately focused on in all of our training is keeping a straight face (no pun intended.) All of the "two"-madness aside she is still the most wonderful little girl in the world. Her adoption process has inched another step forward and we could not be happier.
Jon and Michael. Well, let's just say we are busier than we had ever imagined we could be. We have become very adept at juggling time. Most of our work now takes place during naptime and once the little ones are in bed for the night. The work is rewarding but nothing compared to those hours we spend with the kids.
Our book is moving forward with the proposal to be released to the world of publishing very soon. Our movie, well who knows! Our website is growing by the minute as we are beginning to add more and more photos and resources.
So here is our schedule. It is great to connect with those of you from afar who support us along our journey, so come visit us if we come to your area.
Feb. 25, 1999: Muhlenberg College, 7:30pm, "An Evening with Jon and Michael Galluccio" Muhlenberg College, Allentown, PA. For information contact Kelly Canon at (610) 821-3602
March 4, 1999: Indiana State University, 7:30pm, Hulman Memorial Student Union: "Building a Family, a Human Right" with Jon and Michael Galluccio. Reception to follow talk. For information contact (812) 237-3827
March 20, 1999: The HRC Houston 1999 Winter Gala. This event will center around Family Values and the Galluccio Family will be part of their program. We are honored to be their guests for this event. For information please contact HRC at (202) 628-4160
March 21, 1999: The Lesbian and Gay Rights Lobby of Texas will be marching to the capitol in Austin and holding a rally. Our family will be there to march and talk to the people in Texas about family and equality. For info, contact the LGRL of Texas at (512) 474-5475
March 26, 1999: "Equality Begins in the Nursery" a presentation by Jon and Michael Galluccio sponsored by NJLGC and Rainbow Youth. 6:00pm at the Pride Center in New Brunswick, for details call (732) 828-6772
March 27, 1999: New York City. Details to follow
April 7, 1999: Rutgers University. Details to follow
April 20, 1999: University of Delaware, 8:00pm, Student Center, University of Delaware, Newark. "Jon & Micheal Galluccio: Gay Rights/Human Rights - Achieving the American Dream". For contact information call (302) 831-8066
April 24, 1999: Illinois State University. Details to follow
July 31 - Aug 7, 1999 Gay and Lesbian Family Week in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Come join our family and hundreds like us for a wonderful week of sun and fun. Of course, there will be workshops galore for those of you who just can't rest!
August 22-29, 1999. We will be travelling and speaking onboard Carnival Cruise Line's newest and biggest ship to ever sail to the Mexican Riviera for the first annual GLBT Family Cruise sponsored by Alternative Family Magazine and End of the Rainbow Travel.One Final Note: "To err is human, to forgive divine." May we divinely forgive those who err against us, Rev. Fallwell included. Until we connect again,
Big hug,
Jon, Michael, Rosa, Adam and Madison