Host Jim_LGF says:
I would like to introduce first another FM from MSN, Jenn from the birth and babies Forum, Welcome Jenn
Dream says:
can we speak to the guest or how does this work I was off in Phee land as always
Host JennK-FM says:
Thanks, Jim! Hi, everyone :)
Apollo_LGF says:
Hi freezer
Freezeray_LGF says:
hi everybody
Freezeray_LGF says:
sorry I'm late :)
Cyndi_LGF says:
Hiya josh
Host MST_Dougie says:
Hi Freeze
^FireAllianceNX says:
Hey Josh
Host Jim_LGF says:
I would like to introduce our guest chatter tonight, Jon and Michael...
Host JonandMichael says:
Hi everyone
Binkly says:
Hi
Dream says:
Hello
Wow says:
Hi
Host Jim_LGF says:
I first saw them on CNN with Larry King and the Rev. Jerry Falwell debating this issue
thor_LGF says:
_(((((((((( Jon&Michael )))))))))))))))))
Apollo_LGF says:
G'day mate
gay copule in new jersey
Host Jim_LGF says:
so without any further noise from me, I will let them introduce themselves and speak for awhile, welcome Jon and Micheal
Host JonandMichael says:
We are very excited to be here ... this cyber world is new to us so please have patience
Freezeray_LGF says:
JOEY<>
Host JonandMichael says:
Ok
Nikki_LGF says:
Hiya Joey :-)
Host JonandMichael says:
We are jon and Michael Galluccio
Freezeray_LGF says:
ok jon and mikey
Freezeray_LGF says:
hope mikey is ok :)
Host JonandMichael says:
We have been a couple for just over 16 years
Host JonandMichael says:
We have had a very!!!b interesting life so far....along about our 13th year we realized there was something missing
Host JonandMichael says:
After some serious thought an discussion we realized that we both had some REAL regrets about never having a family
Host JonandMichael says:
We thought we were not allowed
Host JonandMichael says:
that we could't do it
Host JonandMichael says:
Because we were gay
Host JonandMichael says:
We thought it would be wrong to do to kids
Host Joey_LGF says:
Welcome To This Special Chat. Please note that ALL questions and/or statements you wish to be made must be whisperred to a Host, so that this chat can go at a much smoother pace.... Thank You ! For your convenience, we have openned up LGF_GayMen_n_Friends for all to chat or also ask questions.
Host JonandMichael says:
we thought it would be too tough on us
Host JonandMichael says:
we thought it was just impossible.
Host JonandMichael says:
We realized that all this was nothing more than our own internal homophobia
Host JonandMichael says:
this was the result of all that we had been told since childhood
Host JonandMichael says:
that because we were gay that meant we were less than others
Host JonandMichael says:
All this changed during the 25th anniveersary of the Stonewall riots
kuhlie says:
thnx
Host JonandMichael says:
We got a heightened awareness of what it REALLY meant being gay
Host JonandMichael says:
instead of being gay men ...we realized that we were men who were gay
Host Cerai_LGF says:
I have a long distance phone call need to stp
Host JonandMichael says:
once we got past that we started looking into having children
Host JonandMichael says:
many of you know we got our son Adam as a foster child
Host JonandMichael says:
the plan from the beginning was to adopt him JOINTLY, as soon as possible
Host JonandMichael says:
the satae of NJ agreed to this throughout the process ... until we filed the final paperwork
Host JonandMichael says:
that was when they called to say that therre was a policy on the books that prohibited unmarried couple from adopting jointly
Host JonandMichael says:
that only one of us could adopt and then the other could come back and do the process all over again in 6 months to 1 year
Host JonandMichael says:
we said no!
NJ_BOY says:
wow........should I leave
Ernie_LGF says:
Jon and Michael a LGF welcome HHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGsSSSSSSSSSSS
Host JonandMichael says:
That scenario would leave Adam unprotected and without rights should something happen to the adoptive parent
Host JonandMichael says:
if the adoptive parent were to die ...Adam could be returned to the state ... the other parent would not even have the right to PETITION the court for custody.... that's why we said no.
Host JonandMichael says:
We fought ...we won ... and now NJ is the first state to allow gay couples to adopt JOINTLY as married hetero couples do ...as State Policy
Host JonandMichael says:
enough from us ... how about you?
Host Jim_LGF says:
I have some member generated questions to ask, and then will open it up to you all...
Host Jim_LGF says:
did you have joint custody as foster parents?
Host JonandMichael says:
Yes, we initially went into the process as a couple. All our paperwork is in both names.
Host Jim_LGF says:
Did you ever think you would become pioneers in the gay rights movement?
Host JonandMichael says:
LOL ....never.
Host Jim_LGF says:
Did you ever consider other ways of having a child, such as using a surrogate?
Host JonandMichael says:
We explored all the possibilities. Even had people offer to have children for us. In the long run it seemed best to go the adoption route.
Host Jim_LGF says:
What has the media attention done to your lives?
understand what to expect
Host JonandMichael says:
Well, certainly made it exciting. As if two toddlers wasn't enough. Really, it has been hectic but not so bad. The rewards have far outweighed any inconvenience.
Host Jim_LGF says:
What message do you have for other gays fighting to build a family?
Host JonandMichael says:
First ... be willing to make the commitment. Lawsuit or not, it is a huge responsibility to have a family.
Kris` says:
evening guys
Host JonandMichael says:
Second, make sure your own house is in order first..it's not worth sucking your kids into any unnecessary drama
Host JonandMichael says:
third, be willing and able to put your needs second to those of your kids alot of the time. this won't be hard once you look them in the eye the first time.
Host JonandMichael says:
next?
Host Jim_LGF says:
How have you handled the prejudice with your children?
Binkly says:
no children and grandchildren for hte parents is my only regret
Host JonandMichael says:
Believe it or not ... there has been NO prejudice directly to our family. The extent of it is what you may have seen in the media. But even in the public eye.. the positive support has been SO overwhelming that it completely overshadows the negative.
Host Jim_LGF says:
What lead them to decide to raise special needs children?
Host JonandMichael says:
Good question. One of the things you are showed during your training calsses
Host JonandMichael says:
are pictures and cases regarding all the kids that no one wants.
Host JonandMichael says:
It is real hard to ignore the needs of these kids.
Host JonandMichael says:
We talked about it
Host JonandMichael says:
and we decided that God doen't give you anything you cannot handle
Host JonandMichael says:
so we signed on.
Host Jim_LGF says:
How did you choose which last name to use ?
Host JonandMichael says:
Funny that we chose Galluccio over Holden but...
Host JonandMichael says:
Michael's family name goes back for generations
Host JonandMichael says:
it is a very old family name
Host JonandMichael says:
Jon's name was that of his stepfather
Host JonandMichael says:
it seemed better to give the kids
Host JonandMichael says:
a name with some history. It would help them tie to some roots
Host Jim_LGF says:
If one does not have the finaces to go through the adoption process, does a couple
even have a chance?
Host JonandMichael says:
Our adoption cost us nothing. As a matter of fact NJ state adoptions are subsidized. They help with the financial burden.
Host Jim_LGF says:
You mentioned God, what religion are you all?
Host JonandMichael says:
This is a good one...
Host JonandMichael says:
when we were first together
Host JonandMichael says:
we gave up on the idea of religion
Host JonandMichael says:
God didn't love a homo
Host JonandMichael says:
that's what we were told
Host JonandMichael says:
kids changed that
Host JonandMichael says:
we thought it was important for them to have religion
Host JonandMichael says:
turns out
Host JonandMichael says:
our church has been our biggest supporter
Host JonandMichael says:
we are even having a holy union on fathers day
Host JonandMichael says:
keep your eyes out for that one
Host JonandMichael says:
religion is a big part of our lives now
Host Jim_LGF says:
Does your daughter have any females to interact with?
Host JonandMichael says:
We are Galluccio's can you imagine that there are any fewer than ten people around at any time?
Host JonandMichael says:
Yes there are a ton of females in her life
Host Jim_LGF says:
What were their occupations before and after the adoption process? Is anyone a stay-at-home Dad? If so, how was that decision made? Any regrets?"
Host JonandMichael says:
Michael is a sales director for Sprint in NYC ... Still is.
Host JonandMichael says:
Jon was a marketing manager at AT&T then an actor...
Host JonandMichael says:
he gave all that up to stay home with the kids...
Host JonandMichael says:
Michael got the easy job.
Host Jim_LGF says:
Lol
Host JonandMichael says:
No regrets
Host JonandMichael says:
Oh
Host JonandMichael says:
to answer how the decision was made
Host JonandMichael says:
Michael was a sales director ... jon was an actor ... no offense but you do the math
Host Jim_LGF says:
Are you you guys catholic, protestant, Baptist, Assembly of God, what denomination?
Host JonandMichael says:
We are Episcopal. We were raised catholic but obviously had an issue with that...
Host JonandMichael says:
Episcopal is almost the same ...
Host Jim_LGF says:
How do you think this will affect other states?
Host JonandMichael says:
Catholic Lite .... All the Saints ... Half the guilt
Host JonandMichael says:
There will be mixed reactions around the country...
Host JonandMichael says:
some states will ignore it and go on as usual...
Host JonandMichael says:
some will look to enact similar legislation...
Host JonandMichael says:
others will do all they can to stop it from happening ever again...
Host JonandMichael says:
fortunatley the good will outweigh the bad...
Host Jim_LGF says:
What have these battles done to/for your relationship as a couple?
Host JonandMichael says:
You would think the strain would have been too much to handle...
Host JonandMichael says:
a few years ago it may have been...
Host JonandMichael says:
This past year has brought us MUCH closer...
Host JonandMichael says:
we have a mutual respect we never did before...
Host JonandMichael says:
we love each other more than ever
Host Jim_LGF says:
How do you think Adam will adjust? I know that he will have a great loving home life, but, how will he prepare for possible prejudice later on in life?
Host JonandMichael says:
The same way all children are teased about something, Adam will most likely be teased about his parents
Host JonandMichael says:
We were each teased for different reasons, Jon was short and Michael was Italian in a Dutch neighberhood. O
Host JonandMichael says:
Our parents never prepared us to handle that , we on the other hand can predict what Adam may get picked on so we have a head start.
Host Jim_LGF says:
Are you going to stay vocal, and in the spotlight for gay adoption?
Host JonandMichael says:
If Adam truly feels the love that this family has, he will know it is good and be able to stand up for it. We will handle the parents.
Host JonandMichael says:
Among other things we will continue to be vocal until people are sick of hearing from us!
Host Jim_LGF says:
Lol
pinkelephants says:
thanks
Host Jim_LGF says:
NY_Boy has some questions for you, he is doing a study on adoption, go ahead NJ-Boy
Host Jim_LGF says:
I guess not
Host Jim_LGF says:
How is Adam's health
Host JonandMichael says:
Adam is a healthy thriving toddler. :)
Host Jim_LGF says:
How do you feel knowing that you may be as famous as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. fighting for Civil Rights?
dave says:
who are the special guests?
Host JonandMichael says:
Well we can only hope to do a fraction of all the good he did.
Host JonandMichael says:
But we are honored that someone would even suggest that!
Host Jim_LGF says:
You are to be complimented for your stand!
Bryan_LGF says:
Yes, you are!
Host JonandMichael says:
Thank you, we didn't really do anything more than what any good parent would do and that is stick up for you children.
Freezeray_LGF says:
Have u ever had to spank Adam, and if so who does he call his daddie?
Host JonandMichael says:
We do not spank, we give time outs
Freezeray_LGF says:
:)
Host JonandMichael says:
Jon is Daddy and Michael is Father
Host Jim_LGF says:
Would there been less resistance if the adoption involved a girl? I'm really not sure how things are in the US, they are a bit different here in Canada, but, might some of the resistance from some of the anti gay-adoption crowd been directed at the fact that it was an all male couple adoption a baby boy.
Ernie_LGF says:
^5 guys
JLoengard_LGF says:
that is a kewl way of identifying your roles.
Host Jim_LGF says:
geez I wish I had you as parents and not have gotten all the spankings I did
Host Joey_LGF says:
DITTO !
Freezeray_LGF says:
that is a cool way to spell kewl JL :)
NJ_BOY says:
Do you feel that "time outs" are really effective?
Host JonandMichael says:
We don't think it mattered whether it was a boy or girl, many of you know we have a 16 month old foster daughter already
Host JonandMichael says:
NJ_Boy....time outs effective
Freezeray_LGF says:
beautiful girl if I might add
Freezeray_LGF says:
Jon and Michael will u post your web address for everybody
Host JonandMichael says:
Adam has 3 levels of time outs. 1 - the couch, 2 - the corner and 3 - room
Host JonandMichael says:
He knows when he has done something wrong and already can usually predict where he's going!
Host JonandMichael says:
http://www.gaynj.net/galluccio
Host Jim_LGF says:
Okay all our hour is up, and on behalf of the whole LGF would like to thank Jon and Michael for giving us an hour of their time...
Freezeray_LGF claps
JLoengard_LGF claps
Host Jim_LGF says:
If you want to stay and chat with them you are welcome to do so
RichDug_LGF says:
Thanks for answering our questions Jon and Michael.
Cyndi_LGF says:
Thank you Jon and Michael, Best of Luck to your new family
Host Jim_LGF says:
Thanks Jon and Michael, you guys have been great!
Freezeray_LGF says:
thank you Jon and Michael
Host JonandMichael says:
Thanks everyone, Hey Jim we can stay a while if anyone has any more questions
Host Cerai_LGF says:
Wishing you two the very best of luck and happness
Ernie_LGF says:
jon and michael please stop in men 4 men or one of the other rooms and chat sometime
Wow says:
applause for what you've done and who you are, congratulations
Host Me_Too_LGF says:
Thanks for coming and sharing your life experiences.. much appreciated :)