PUSHING AMERICA FORWARD TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN Written by Jon and Michael Galluccio
September 15, 1998The United States was founded on the basic principal "All men were created equal". We were taught that as children. We were also taught that, over the past two centuries, fellow Americans had to fight to clarify that definition and be treated equally. The American Revolution, Women's Suffrage and The Civil Rights Movement for Racial Equality are a few examples of how people have struggled for what was justly theirs.
Last year, we added our names to the list of those who would push America forward. We stood up and demanded that we be included in that basic American principal as well. We are Jon and Michael Galluccio. We are the proud fathers of Adam and we are gay.
In December we were successful in overturning a New Jersey State policy barring joint adoptions by unmarried couples. This was the first time that a state policy put gay couples on equal standing with married heterosexual couples, in the matter of adoption.
For Gay and Lesbian Civil Rights it was a major victory. We confess that was not our intent. We had no "agenda". It was not a political issue. Our intent was to protect our child. To see that Adam's best interests were served.
When we brought Adam home from the hospital when he was just three months old. He was suffering the affects of severe drug withdrawal, testing positive for various diseases including HIV and he required nebulizer treatments throughout the day and night to assist his breathing.
Within months Adam was on his way to full recovery. He began testing negative for HIV and the other diseases to which he was exposed. He was no longer undergoing drug withdrawal therapy and his lungs were operating perfectly. Adam was thriving. The State acknowledged that we were outstanding foster parents to the baby. So good that the Division of Youth and Family Services, recommended that we adopt him.
The Division told us however, that we could not both adopt Adam. State policy said that "unmarried" couples could not adopt a child together. Since Michael was employed (Jon stayed at home as Adam's primary caregiver) he should proceed alone. Jon could, perhaps, adopt Adam later through a second parent adoption.
This was wrong for us but most importantly wrong for Adam and not in his best interest. Were Michael to die, Jon would not have had the right to even seek custody of Adam. Our child facing the loss of one parent could actually lose both parents. A risk too great for Adam, for any child.
We were aware that history might be made, we certainly knew that our case was groundbreaking. None of that mattered however, only Adam. Today Adam represents so much more, to us and to America.
It is now, only a few months later, that the seriousness of what has happened is becoming clear. A few years ago we wanted only to be a "regular" suburban family. We wanted the same as everyone else. There was certainly no reason we did not deserve it. We were content to live our lives in relative obscurity. We were willing to be "tolerated" by the rest of society. They say there is no turning back, and they are correct. For now we continue to demand to be treated equal in all areas of our life. We firmly believe that we owe it to our family, to the American family. It is unthinkable that we can go back to the times where we allowed ourselves to be treated as second class. It is true that change is never easy, but change will surely come.
Unfortunately, there are obstacles in the path toward freedom. In recent months, there has been discriminatory legislation surfacing around the country. Some states have barred joint adoptions by unmarried couples, other's have barred adoptions by gays altogether. The House of Representatives has just passed an amendment to the DC appropriations bill, which will prohibit adoption and foster care by gay couples. How sad this is for the children of Washington D.C. How many children will go without a home because of politics aimed at legalizing discrimination against the gay and lesbian population? How many will get stuck in "the system"? Even one is too many.
Their strict definition of an acceptable family exists in less then 50% of American homes with children. Families have, and always will, come in many shapes and sizes. Whose family will be next to come under attack? Will such bigoted opinions, someday, play themselves out on a national level? We are not willing to take that chance. We have seen the children stuck in "the system". There were others babies at the O'Neill Center where we got Adam, which we did not take home. There were not enough families who would take these babies then; there are still not enough families now, contrary to what the Rev. Jerry Fallwell or Gary L. Bauer's of the world would have you believe.
We are committed to do whatever possible to assure these children are placed PREMANENTLY in GOOD HOMES - end of definition. Why should we further decrease the hopes for these children because same sex headed homes are thought, by some, to be improper? The truth is there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. In order for us to properly care for our children we need to have all the SAME rights as any other person living in this country. We are fighting not only for ourselves alone but also for our children, all our children.
So this week, we are coming to Washington, kids and all, to meet with several of our nation's leaders and to deliver two speeches. They need to see the faces and hear the voices of the families and children they are looking to erase.
After all, Adam, will be three on Friday and besides the trip to the National Zoo, we could not think of any better gift, then the gift of freedom.